When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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