Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
even my farts smell like vagina
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just want to make out with him forever
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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