He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He better not be in your backpack
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
