Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
