I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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