Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
