After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
