4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
