You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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