Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
