If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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