Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
and she was petting her beer can
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
