you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
