I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
