I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
