My nipple is on Facebook.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize