SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
