Its about making memories worth repressing
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
