I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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