Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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