the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
