hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
