I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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