The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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