are you still at the devil's house?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
