Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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