he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize