In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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