wakey wakey hands off snakey
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
