you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This baby is an asshole
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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