I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
