I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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