I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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