I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
