I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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