dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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