North Korea, Best Korea!
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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