He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
