alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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