well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
