First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
