I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
