best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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