I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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