i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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