She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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