Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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