Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
