opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize