he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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