Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
