i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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