i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
