She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
