So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
