I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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