it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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