If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
In America we eat man semen.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
