He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize