you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
