My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
