glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
