His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
