I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
