Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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