morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
