Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
