watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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