You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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